The word Antifragile doesn’t mean the opposite of fragile. That would be robust. When robust things break, they can take forever to repair. When you’re antifragile, you can adapt, learn, and become stronger. This is not a new concept, but I love the word.
Though there are tons of people who love Phoenix, there are many people who get stuck in Phoenix. It’s comfortably cheap, so why move out? Well, I simply got bored. People will complain all the time about moving but will put up with the anguish of it rather than ripping off the bandage to follow their heart.
Or perhaps they just weren’t as lucky as me. But many people don’t start their own podcast to amplify their chances like I did. From what I learned in life, not that many people are ambitious, and that’s ok. You can’t convince everyone to let go and take charge of their life. They will figure it out on their own, or waste a life in sadness.
My roommate (the thai lady) had her car break down and that was the final straw. She told me she was going to leave and live with her daughter and I had to find a roommate in a month. Weirdest breakup I ever had…
In hindsight, roommates suck. I am so glad I’ll never have a roommate again. But at the time, I got this old, cranky jewish man as a roommate. He was nice, but he had weird habits. I found them annoying. He really stressed me out.
I started investing in consulting, I used websites like kolabtree.com and other things to get novice consulting gigs. Eventually, I actually got 3 clients. Then I told people I was going to Expo West, and Paul Shapiro emailed me about his new gig.
Being a gate keeper and thinking I could get another consulting gig, I took on the challenge. I could use more side money.
Out of the now four gigs, Paul was the only one who knew what he was doing. If people struggle to pay $1000 dollars for a consulting project to formulate from the ground up, they are not worth your time. Troubleshooting is great, but formulating, you as a food scientist need to push your worth.
After a few months, I realized consulting was not for me, but a startup was. Paul decided that my prototype was good (which was nothing like what you’ll get today) and I dropped everything and planned my leave.
Perhaps this was the best time to leave Phoenix. I lost everything. My old friends, my awesome roommate. But I now had new friends, new communities, a freaking house. I knew I could have a good life in Phoenix, but being that weird rational dude, I convinced myself that aligning with someone who is already so engrained in the industry, who could raise money, and who knew how to actually manage people, made joining the startup a no-downside decision.
Luckily I have good friends. I don’t think I had one person tell me “that’s a shitty idea”. From work to the entrepreneur circles, to family, everyone said the same thing. “You’re young, go for it”. So I scheduled to get packing.
Moving sucks, not just the logistics, but telling people that you’re moving. I actually forgot how I told people. I hosted more barbeques, sent emails to the non-profits I helped, and just enjoyed Phoenix before it got hot.
On the last week of Phoenix, I decided to do a final hurrah on one of my favorite activities in Phoenix. Salt River Tubing. I went 3 times and almost died each time, whether from the jagged rocks on the bottom, or the trees that tangle through our gear.. This time, I knew what I was doing. I didn’t tie my tubes together, I didn’t bring my phone I had my own escape plan. I invited everyone I could and like, 20 people showed up and had a blast. Afterwards, we ate.
I look back at this new group of friends.
Yet this new group of friends was this mishmash of a bunch of other friend groups. At the end of my days of Phoenix, I had this really good patchwork of friends that I’m so glad to have. Some I met 3 years ago, some I met the month before I left. It was a sublime experience.
My last dinner in Phoenix was at this new Korean restaurant, after salt river tubing with people I’ve met from community service groups, meetups, entrepreneur circles, seeing them all interact is what brings me an incredible amount of joy. I miss all of them.
The next week, I packed my car, and decided to take the long drive up the 101, past San Diego, Las Angeles, San Luis Obispo, San Jose, Concord, and Sacramento, just to take it all in, and then settle at a small red house in midtown.
It’s funny, moving to Sacramento and taking a lesser paying job, my net worth actually flatlined. The house soared in value in Phoenix and my investments have also done well. Diversify your assets people!
Though I didn’t like my new roommate, I knew he was very good with money (this is not a stereotype, but he paid his rent on time and has managed houses before). I cut him a deal about taking care of the house and he did so. I still own that house in Phoenix. I’m not sure for how long.
Aftermath
I use the same tactics to make friends. I join a meetup group, meet some cool people, hang out with them a lot, and they become friends. My value grew, as there were people who actually loved food science in San Francisco and I hung out with them. They’re great people.
Coming back to California felt like time stopped, I lived in a different dimension for 4 years, and it resumed again. Sure, my home town got gentrified to heck, but the people I’ve met haven’t really changed. Maybe they look at me and see I haven’t changed either.
Perhaps the moral of the story is that the world is big, and you can learn so much more outside of your comfort zone, and grow in a way you have never thought possible. A book I’m reading, Thirst, had one of the characters say this quote that is repeated throughout the biography: Sometimes you just gotta break everything and move.
It’s nice to write this all out. I hope you’ve found something valuable in this.
Edit (right before new years):
Some people responded to the article saying that there wasn’t really a happy ending to this piece. I don’t think there is supposed to be. I’d describe this as just a chapter of a bigger story, or perhaps it’s just a work in progress.
As I reminisce about this year, and as I was able to tell my friends about my experience and why I’m back to California, it shows more and more just how much I’ve changed and how these experiences have shaped me.
As I look into next year, I have no idea what’s going to happen. But I’m not scared. Not anymore.
Adam, thank you for sharing. It was a very insightful and thought provoking read. I’m not a risk-taker; played it safe my entire life; though, I am a big dreamer. I’m working on a couple of projects that are outside my comfort zone and after reading your four-part series on life in Phoenix, I am inspired and ready to pursue my dream.