Thanks Dad

Adam Note: This Thanksgiving, I’m sitting at Holiday Inn eating a salad in Ruby Tuesday as I make my trek to Austin Texas for a new adventure. After 12 hours of driving I’ve had the time to think…and listen to a lot of podcasts.

Usually, I’d do a thankful post for a couple of people this Thanksgiving but this time, I’d like to do just one. My parents, but specifically my dad.

I think everyone has the same perception of parents throughout time. As a kid, you love them and you think they are the most important thing in the world. As a teenager, you realize they are just as human as you are you recognize their flaws. Depending on how that turns out and you become a functioning adult, you start to respect your parents because you realize how hard it is to be an adult.

My dad imparted three lessons or values that have helped me through life. Though this is mainly a thankful post about my dad, I hope this is beneficial for you.

Dreams

As an Asian America, my friends tell me stories about playing the piano at the age of 4 or going to test prep classes to get a good SAT score. The story of the stereotypical tiger mom and apathetic dad is common throughout my friend group. Of course, this is for good intentions. You want your child to be an investment, right? So they’ll train you to become an engineer, or doctor or pharmacist and some people do it but I didn’t even know what engineering was until I got to college.

What I’m grateful for is that I really didn’t have a direction to what I wanted to be as a kid. Ironically, as early as I could remember, I wanted to be a scientist and then I wanted to be a chef in high school and somehow I was able to combine the two in college.

Dreams are interesting because a lot of how people think of dreams and ambition are associated with social class, wealth class, and a bunch of other factors. In some of my friends, it was literally beaten into them and some were obedient and followed through (some followed through, some didn’t), and others rebelled and became artists. (Some of these artists succeeded, some didn’t). There are many factors and distractions that cause you to either be a functioning adult or a man-child, or even a criminal. Outside influences such as bad people or substances you can’t comprehend at a young age and many of my friends astray. Some get back on track, and some don’t.

Though I can’t say that my dad was solely responsible for the way I turned out, I think many external factors are controlled when you live in a safe environment. But I think more than anything, he didn’t control what I wanted to be. Perhaps because he had a similar story.

Heroism

My dad is obsessed with superheroes. This makes it easy to give him gifts. Anything with Superman or Batman, he’ll wear proudly.

Even as a kid, my dad drew and got so good, that he drew for comic books. Some heroes you’ve never heard of like Sea Dragon, and others you might recognize, like a few comics of Superman. Like most artists, eventually, you have a choice to give up your dreams and my dad because a stable underwriter to provide for this family. Eventually, he became very successful. Enough to retire a bit early and now works at a library and draws in his spare time.

So with this, it installed in me the heart of a hero. Learning about heroic idealism helped me make good moral choices when it came to tough decisions in my life. I think that’s the power of comics and cartoons is that they have the ability to teach kids good decisions. Though comics became grimmer and darker, that idealism bled in cartoons in my age and now movies are the ultimate idealist gamechanger for children.

But the same theme is also in good video games, and anime and manga (things my dad didn’t consume) and I think that’s beautiful that good morals and ambition are instilled in the art we consume.

And this seg ways into perhaps why my dad didn’t give me a clear, strict academic regime. Because finding it myself is so much more interesting and the values instilled in good media allowed me to choose more ambitious and more morally fruitful paths.

Now I return the favor and I take him to the newest superhero movie when it comes out.

Financial

Most people are bad with money. It truly is the root of all evil. Though we as a family were well-off, we took only one out-of-country vacation and many three-hour drives camping throughout my childhood. I didn’t have “advanced” cable, or a cellphone, or high-speed internet until late in high school. In hindsight, I’m glad I didn’t.

What was very advantageous is that I was able to always have enough money to buy food and cook (which helped me get into food science) and my dad paid for my college (which is HUGELY advantageous in today’s world). My dad saved for my college fund very aggressively. In fact, he has always saved aggressively for everything.

I went to a cheap state college and did a practical major with jobs related to my field. I also always had roommates in my room (so rent was like, $300 dollars) and didn’t have a car until junior year. Though there are things I cut back on, nothing is as advantageous as not being financially stressed in college. Having the freedom to have this is extremely privileged and I would say is the most important part of my professional success.

As I got out of college, I learned about finances. People complain that we should have learned about financials in school and though we should, there are TONS of financial tools, books and podcasts that will help you understand no matter how much debt you have. 401ks, saving, index funds, and all of that good stuff. Eventually, I learned to save a lot of money until I learned that jobs only give you one source of income. My dad had one source of income that rakes in money with a job. Other things were index funds and a house but those make minimal compared to a job so being a snobby millennial, I wanted more.

You can read all of my entrepreneurial mishaps throughout the website, but I lost a lot of money and I made a lot of money. I still save a lot of money and I have a lot saved even though I’ve taken so many risks such as building businesses, starting my own, and moving a lot. Ironically, the past five years gave me a  100%+ salary increase, equity in a couple of companies, and made me a lot more financially robust.

I always discuss financial and life decisions to my dad. More often than not, he supports what I do. Moving to Phoenix, starting a company, and moving to Austin, were all discussions my dad trusted me on. I’m glad he lets me do what I want because so far, I could not have asked for a better life.