Testing Stress

Last week was stressful, or was it the week before? I’ve had a timeline moved up, and a bunch of logistics to plow through, and now my task list is starting to hit the floor.

It’s funny, last month, I was looking for work to do…

Have you noticed times where you’re in a bad mood and you act differently? Well, for me, it always happens when the temperature changes and things start to get busy. I snapped, and things got heated, then we talked about it, and things are better.

In every job I’ve had, I’ve recognized stressors that cause me to act recklessly. Some companies will put up with it, others won’t. I don’t think it matters what company you’re in, but it does matter how you can mitigate outbreaks like these.

For me, these emotional outbreaks are like a zit on a 16-year-old me, everyone notices, few say anything about it, but you notice it the most.

Everyone is just human and stress is a sadly natural part of the imperfect human body. When there’s too much stress, things snap. How do you prevent from snapping? I’m still figuring that out.

It’s cliché, but you have to know yourself to be successful, including your flaws.

Stress Indicators

When you get stressed, what actually happens? Do you act differently or look differently?

People say it takes a lot to see me stressed, I hope they’re right.

Here’s a list I’ve noticed happens to me when I get stressed:

• My shoulders tense up
• I get a zit in a few places
• I get a cold sore
• I get less empathetic
• I get emotionally disconnected on not-interesting topics
• I get more aggressive when emailing
• My room gets messier than usual
• I crave junk food

But perhaps this happens to you:

• You have bags in your eyes
• You argue on the internet more often
• You post more often on social media than usual
• You generally release your anger privately out on your loved ones
• You drink or smoke in excess
• You gain weight
• You lose weight
• You blame others
• You blame yourself

All of these factors do not help with anything, and destroys you physically, spiritually, and mentally. Yet it is important to notice the markers. Everyone deals with things like this, but not many people realize how to control it. The first step to controlling it, is to be aware of it.

Stress Outbreaks and Recovery

Bottling up stress is pretty bad, and when it explodes, bad things can happen.

However, the positives of controlling a stress outbreak can lead to a lot of positives, especially as you go into catharsis, also known as the purification of emotions.

Catharsis, in this case, is the recovery period where after an outbreak, you have a moment of clarity. In this case, it’s really important to reflect what can be changed. This is the period where you have to adapt because, within a week, the cycle of stress will just continue.

What I do in this period is self-reflect. I find writing and publishing something (like this article) to be extremely valuable. Books, talking to a loved one on the phone, these are what help me find solutions to improve in the future.

These are not end-all solutions. These are incremental steps to improvement. Like developing a product, you realize what you need to work on as you go through the motions and get feedback.

A funny story about this was my freshman year of college, I made my lab mates cry because of how aggressive I was in doing the work. For a simple lab assignment, I was a tyrant.

Funny enough, those classmates still talk to me, and we joke all the time. They are all successful food scientists too.

As I started taking on more leadership roles, I developed a sense of working empathy, but even then, once in a while, either through being lion dance captain, or leading a product development competition, I’ve made people cry. But every time, I learn a bit. Even in my professional life, there have been times where I’ve had some very aggressive emails.

Though I do not want to make this an excuse, perhaps this is the curse of being Quirky. As we all know, Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, and some would say Walt Disney all had their negative flaws, and all had outbreaks of stress, to the point where people to this day will berate these visionaries because of it, even though they’ve accomplished so much.

But either way, I’m not a junior technologist any more. I’m in a leadership role, and this is the fine line in the sand to really admit I have a problem.

Stress Mitigation/ Outbreak Prevention

Reducing stress is hard and everyone is different. Here’s how I reduce stress.

• Create every day. Whether it’s through products, podcasts, or writing
• Be surrounded by friends
• Talk to a friend who you haven’t talked to in forever
• Talking about ideas
• Participating in philanthropy
• Traveling, even if it’s just an hour away
• Eating really good food
• Monthly thai massage where a little lady pulverizes me to loosen the muscles in my stressed back
• Appreciating the life I have

Some of the stuff sounds pretty preachy, but it works for me.

The goal here is not to to eliminate stress, but rather, the frequency of outbreaks and how you can improve on these outbreaks over time.

The issue with outbreaks is not just how you outbreak, but rather how other people react to outbreaks. It’s always a negative chain reaction that, though might expose some structural weak points, does a lot of damage.

However, I truly believe that eliminating outbreaks completely turns you into an apathetic robot, you become risk adverse, and you won’t be driven by your passion. Worst off, eliminating outbreaks cause tensions to build and can destroy everything if not exposed early. There has to be a balance dealing with this, and perhaps the best test is to look into this early, and realize that nobody’s perfect.

Overall, stress is a natural part of life, but that has never stopped humanity from improving upon it. To discover how you work is probably the most important skill you can have in terms of getting things done.

By the way, I’m still working on knowing myself. I don’t think I’ve met anyone under 40 who knew themselves.