Most people know if they are extroverted or introverted. It’s not an immediate thing you tell people, but people can easily tell.
At work, we know who spends the most time at the water cooler is an extrovert and we know the person who only sits at their desk and eats lunch there is an introvert.
Like many things, extraversion and introversion are on a spectrum, and I always think of it as how you can get your energy. Do you enjoy people or being alone? There are people who are 100% extroverted and 100% introverted, but in general, most people are a mix of both.
I don’t like the word ambivert thrown around, but if you take time to figure out yourself, then it doesn’t really matter what you want to be called.
Whether working with extroverts or introverts, I’ve noticed something cool when communicating with either. The more you know them, the more they appear to go on the opposite spectrum.
Let me explain.
An extraverted person will want to hang out, go to happy hours, talk about sports, etc. But be their friend and they will open up by asking questions that they need your help finding what’s important in life.
For an introvert, they prefer talking one on one, and the right question can get them talking for hours. In most situations, an introvert wants to be invited to things, but it’s hard for them to accept.
For the sake of this discussion, we’re dealing with workforce extraversion and introversion and this is based on an initial perception of who is social and who is not social. As always, the MBTI test is one very simple personality test that may or may not be super accurate.
One of the things Carl Jung said,
Everyone is individual and unique. The personality types are not strict classifications, but stereotypes that are akin to landmarks on a map. Just as a few landmarks can help you find many unique locations, so too the personality stereotypes can help you understand your unique personality.
Your personality is also never set in stone and you can always change how you think. The purpose of this is to show that other people accept rewards differently.
Whether you’re in sales, R+D, or procurement, I hope these tips will help you deal with people of all spectrums.
Dealing with Extroverts
Extroverts like talking and there is less of a barrier to entry for them to talk passionately on what they like than an introvert. To have extraverted people work effectively, I would say give them the ability to connect with people but discipline them enough to use that time productively.
For selling to extroverts, it seems like if an extrovert has a good time with you, they will perceive you as a good person. It is much easier for an extrovert to buy something if you are perceived as someone who is fun.
How to win over extroverts
- Wine and dine them. Seriously, it’s the best way to gain an extravert’s respect
- Give the opportunity to connect with people
- Keep up with the pace. In general, extraverts are thrill seekers, match their intensity with yours. If they like to skydive, then go skydiving (if you like it too)
- Reward someone who did a good job. They’ll say they did a good job to everyone else anyway.
Dealing with Introverts
Introverts like their space, they will generally avoid going to functions if it does not suit their needs and will generally close up.
From podcasting, I’ve noticed that the best way to get an introvert to open up, is to have a good conversation and be genuinely competent and compassionate to go through talking to them.
Depending on the type of person they are, this is generally a talk about general passions in life.
Introverts will generally take the advice you give them, and if it works, they open up a bit more.
It takes a lot of effort for an introvert to perceive you as a good person just because they have internal debates about you. They talk in their heads a lot, just to make sure. But the big thing is to just be authentic and genuine in your personality, then it’s not as much work.
How to win over introverts
- Give them what they want (samples, documents) with as few words as possible
- Send gifts, whether food or something more personal like a book
- Have them bring a friend to an event
- Let them go to events or educational seminars
- Have a fruitful one on one discussion with them
- Give credit to someone who did a good job. They won’t say it themselves
Note that the best salespeople do a mixture of the two and those who excel in sales usually are very good at hosting a party, and make everyone feel inclusive to the group. Treat the introverts like they are special because it’s much harder for them sacrificing their alone time to go to a function than an extravert.
How other personalities fit in
Unfortunately, Extroversion and Introversion are changed dramatically when filtering the rest of the MBTI family.
As mentioned in a previous article, there are so many things that make people tick. What this article is designed to do is to unearth a small fragment in the complex world of people who don’t think like you.
Do they love ideas, or do they want to talk about their family? Do they need to schedule something a month in advanced or can do it this Friday? These are all factors that help decipher a person’s interests and personality. There is a nuanced skill when it comes to conversing with these personalities and extraversion and introversion are just the surface.
Identity Crisis
I don’t know if I’m extroverted or introverted. My cofounder said I sound extraverted on podcasts and I act extraverted around certain people, but when I’m not doing these things, I’m introverted.
Obviously, I’m on this spectrum, but it does confuse me where I can get energy from both talking to people and staying home playing video games.
Based on the MBTI test, I’m an ENTP. If you research more than a minute about this, one of the primary functions is that I have an Extraverted Intuition (Ne) characteristic. Now things will start to get confusing, but having this as a primary function means I can connect the dots with ideas. This makes sense because I’ve been doing this with product development and My Food Job Rocks. This youtube video might help.
Point being is that because of this, ideas fuel the extroverted energy, sports drain the extroverted energy.
I figured out that I should only go to events that I like. That deal with smart people and smart topics. If there’s something I don’t like, I don’t go to it.
Overall, the most important thing is that people are different and the more you focus on treating people differently, the more value the relationship will have in the long run. Practice makes perfect when conversing with people who are not like you. The more you focus on treating people individually the more you can work with them better and the first step is to get a little insight into their extraversion or introversion that might help you crack their code.”
This article is part of the Myers Briggs in the Workplace Series. If you’d like to learn more about the different functions, see the links below:
