You didn’t get to go to that conference, or that party, or that really important meeting and it makes you anxious.
One of the things that kind of ticks me off is when someone is getting FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) from missing a conference or things like that. Are you really going to miss that much? If you have friends going, you’ll most likely see them again next month at that other conference.
For me, I am so happy if I’m not traveling, or go to this meeting because I can then spend time on the things I can do better at home base. Though there is a time and a place to bring value traveling, there is a lot of value standing where you are, in the present.
The more I hang out with people who travel all the time, the more I see just how much they want to stay home. You lose a ton of productivity when you’re traveling or in a meeting no matter how you look at it. If you’re traveling and staying the night, the ride can be exhausting, and you might not be that productive.
So this article is about dealing with FOMO, 3 different scenarios, with 3 different strategies.
On Events
Sometimes I go to events and someone says that they can’t make it and keeps on complaining on the group text how much FOMO they have. It’s really frustrating because people do actually have a choice of deciding if going to something is important or not. Some people either are too lazy to go from point A to point B, or too unorganized.
Everyone seems to be busy every single day at every single point of their lives and you can’t be everywhere at once.
When you commit to going to a party, or a restaurant, a family gathering, or anything of that nature, it is very important to be present and in the moment, and not worry about what could have been. You made the decision to go there and you are wasting your time if you are not 100% there.
One example of this is family obligations. Most people dislike them because you could be doing something else like sitting on your butt watching sports. However, your family or your spouses’ family is important to be at because it really shows you care and if you’re not 100% there, you’re not getting the most out of the present.
There are times where it can be very challenging to be present in an obligation where you have to be there and there is a struggle whether you can just outright leave (which I do often, don’t do this) or stay to impress the people who want you there. Overall, it’s your choice to make the decision on where to choose where you want to be at this specific moment. After all, you’re in the present, and you’re in control.
On Conferences
You sit in a meeting with your team and one gets to go to Los Angeles, one gets to go to New Orleans. You’re probably more excited to go to New Orleans because a free trip to New Orleans is pretty cool. But you didn’t make it! What makes matters worse is that because you didn’t make it, you won’t be able to see your industry friends, or go to those great vendor dinners.
But you still get to go at least somewhere.
If you are absolutely needed, it might be best to ask your coworker to cover the meeting with a potential new vendor.
I had a chat with a friend in Phoenix about Expo West. Basically, she didn’t go, but she showed me the trend reports all of the trade publications were spewing out and it pretty much covered the whole floor. The issue with Expo West is that it is so big, only the big things pop out and the big things are the only thing the big companies care about.
If you are solely going to Expo West to collect market research data, you could probably save thousands of dollars not going to Expo West and receive the same value. In terms of a return on investment, most R+D scientists don’t give much value after going to a trade show, at least not of face value (it also heavily depends on the trade show, since vendor relations are actually important when meeting live, but chances are, they’ll be going to you if you’re important). R+D Scientists usually have nothing to report after they go to a conference and any inspiration they get from the show will most likely fizzle out. A good food scientist who materializes important things from conferences is highly valued.
However, I do think it’s important to send all of your R+D scientists to trade show should be treated more of a reward, or a job well done. It boosts morale when scientists get to go to trade shows.
If you as a scientist can’t get enough of traveling or tradeshows, perhaps you might want to think of switching into sales or procurement.
On Drastic Decisions
If you’re not invited for a drastic decision for work, what does that mean? Does it mean you’re not important? Does it mean that you can’t contribute to that meaningful one-hour meeting that happens 8 times a day?
I was just talking to a friend of mine who was going to take a bad job and a CBD startup with low pay and no benefits. She had to commute 40 minutes and I asked her if she could work at home. The team there told her that she had to be at the office because decisions were made on the spot. The description of this startup pretty much told me these guys had no idea what they were doing.
This is a big red flag because decisions should always be written down and communicated so people can commit to them. In fact, I would argue that ideas need to simmer for at least 2 hours before being served. With the power of technology, you can not only call or video chat a person, you can ledger it with something called email.
Meetings are very important, but the more meetings I have, the less productive I’ve been. Managers, Directors and CXO’s are known for having their whole calendar just be meetings and they tell me they hate it every time.
In general, if you’re in the trenches, trust in your teammates to handle the stuff you don’t like to do. Your creativity is important and spending time expelling it on tough decisions you’re not an expert in will drain the creativity process. As a technical role, you need to stick to what you are good at. Yes, it’s important to be well-liked and do things that are not “your job”, but that and being good at your job are not mutually exclusive.
Practicing your craft takes time. It takes being at one place at a specific time hammering at it with complete focus. You don’t get that with a meeting every hour.
